It finally happened. A Romeo from one of the dating sites wanted to meet me for dinner at a nice restaurant. Instant nerves. What does a 66-year old Juliet know about dating? Geez-o-flip, I haven’t dated outside of my husband in over 48 years and frankly, I’ve forgotten how. Just as I recently discovered that, no, you can’t always ride a bike if once you did, the same is true with dating.
The bike suddenly seems higher, the ground harder and your balance wobbles more than it did as a kid. Ditto with dating. The odds look longer, the fall seems further, and, yes, my balance is shaky as all git out!
He asked me out on Tuesday. Though emails to him sounded quite brave, underneath them fingers dithered about what to write, without sounding so darned needy. Did he feel the same? After all, he was no young rooster.
What to wear? Did the blue look too matronly? How about the blouse with spring flowers over a pair of white slacks? What if I spilled something at dinner? Oh, my, those white pants would be totally unforgiving. Simple black dress with a zippy zebra jacket? Too flippant? Call Suzanne for advice.
Friday arrived. I woke with a smile for my daughter. Did she see the teenager on her first date underneath my motherly face? She left. I turned on the computer to the dating site. An email waited.
“I can’t make our date tonight. A friend is sick. I need to go help him and wouldn’t get back in time. I’ll contact you when I get back.”
How to dress no longer mattered. Not knowing how to date no longer mattered. What mattered was What’s the Real Reason? Why can’t I accept that a friend really could be ill and need him? Where did all the confidence, built up over all these years, disappear like a bad magic trick? Silly question. A glance in any mirror says ‘Toots, you ain’t a kid any more.” And on these dating sites, as previously noted, everyone seems to want athletic and toned. My fingers, after writing for at least 56 of my years, are in excellent shape and I found a manicurist that can keep the nail color from chipping no matter what I do. Does that count for something? A few days later, after hearing nothing, I inquired as to why he had changed his mind.
“I really did have a sick friend. However, during the time away from this site, I met an old girlfriend. We had something going before and she wants to try again. I do, too.”
I’m still trying to figure out which is worse – that poor sick friend or his reuniting with an old flame.
There are always the fun scammers who regale me with how beautiful I am and how I make their hearts beat faster, while they attempt to ease my financial information into their hands. After all, how many single women, without boyfriends, can be told how fabulous they are every single day before the emailer even meets them?
As I have explained to you many times…It is always easier to flirt on line than it is to see a person for the first time. There is this idea that every one in this whole world is prettier, has better hair and is at a perfect weight, they are smarter, have a better home and car, a better job and education level, etc. On line you see in yourself what you want others to see. You don’t have to prove yourself with the possibility of being rejected. Men think they must be able to be great lovers, plus be the most handsome man one has ever seen. Women think they must be shaped like an hour glass, be wildly exciting and amaze all with their hair tossing, sexy leg swinging charismatic appeal. Guess what ? Most people are normal everyday Joe’s and Jane’s who just want to have someone who cares. I personally walk like a turtle, have a shape I’m even afraid of and need makeup just to keep from turning others to stone…but oddly I never have a problem interesting the opposite sex. Being married since I was 18 I have often wondered about a different relationship and testing out my ability to attract another man I found it is WAY TOO EASY…so I wouldn’t allow myself to be WAY TOO EASY ! LOL! But, sometimes we can be way too hard to get to know. Yes, there are scammers out there in our big old world…but you don’t have to accept a person into a relationship if you find you are not compatible. The best way to find a “friend” is to smile, enjoy what you are doing and stop looking. I don’t think I could stand to use one of the dating sites because…Long walks on the beach, holding hands in the moonlight and starring into the eyes of my lover…kind of make me want to barf. I prefer talking, sitting on my front porch, cooking dinner, and silence when I get a chance to observe a garden or nature. Guess that is why men like me…their company is all that is necessary and sometimes that isn’t either.