Why Finding a Date’s Heart Matters
Finding your date’s heart saves you from a broken heart. After four years of dating sites and disappointment, I discovered a date’s heart proves to be his most important attribute. More important than looks, personality or wealth, finding a date’s heart is imperative to move dateable to marriageable. If his heart is closed to those less fortunate, can it be that open to you?
Throughout many experiences, finding a date’s heart is his reaction to my lovely daughter, Jaimie. She is a heart barometer of the highest kind. Why? Because she was born with Down’s syndrome and frankly, even friends worry about how to treat her if they are alone with her.
This seemed a little odd the first time it happened, because the friend knew us for about three years. One night she asked if Jaimie wanted to spend the night at her house. When I picked her up the next day, my friend took me aside to confess how frightened she was, because she did not know how to treat Jaimie. Imagine her surprise when she discovered, like any other child, Jaimie wanted to play games, have an ice cream treat and go to sleep.
Lesson learned. However, it never occurred to me that somewhere in the future, I would be dating once again. And, in dating, that I would discover how cruel a person could be. Given that, I now think it best to let any man know up front about Jaimie and if I must choose, he loses.
Retardation is Not Mental Illness
Along came Matthew with his suggestion that I put her in an asylum. I explained to him that she had a form of retardation, not mental illness. He discovered how quickly a mid-sixties woman could hustle him out the door and slam it behind him. Another insisted on going with us to a child’s movie, only to make a similar suggestion upon our return. I reached into my handbag, not for a gun, but for the money to pay him for what he spent on the afternoon’s entertainment. Frankly, riding back home with such people is not an enjoyable experience.
A week ago, Cowboy Johnny opted to talk with me online. Although I immediately enjoyed conversations with him, the specter of him being like the others rose each time we spoke. We set a lunch date for last Tuesday. Coward that I am, I put off telling him until we met face to face. Fate dropped in giving him a nasty cold, after he took kids from one school to Auburn University for all day competitions. It was time, like it or not, to discover where his heart rested on children whom many consider damaged, but I consider treasures.
A Cowboy to the Rescue
Tuesday Night I wrote to Johnny: Before we meet, I want you to know that my daughter was born with Down’s syndrome. She is a lovely young woman, who will always live with me. Over the years, she learned to pretty much take care of herself and sometimes me, when I don’t feel well. Her assistance is one reason I had the energy to care of my husband the three years he lived after a massive stroke. Without her, doing the work he needed would have proved impossible. Between the two of us, we kept him happy and smiling. I understand if you want to change your mind about meeting. I’ve had one who wanted me to put her away if I wanted to date him. The price he put on himself ran too high and I refused to pay it with my daughter’s happiness. I adore and stand up for all family and friends. Let me know, if this changes your wish to meet me. Feel better.
He wrote back with a little humor: Changes nuttin’ honey.
I think I’m going to like this man. At least I’m now looking forward with a lighter heart to meeting him. There’s just one small problem with this article and that is after several sweet notes, Johnny never made it to meet me or Jaimie. And he will not say anything more as to why.
Never let it be said that something that small kept me from writing.
Farewell to Dating Sites
Frankly, I said farewell to all dating sites for a while. The same men appeared on all of them and those living nearby harbored completely different ideas on just about everything. Those who lived farther away, say a thousand miles or so, assured me, “That distance means nothing when you are in love.” This proclamation appears roughly the second sentence of their declarations. My duty is to alert them to the facts that: 1) they don’t know me well enough to love me; 2)I don’t know them well enough to love them; and 3) if we are not close enough to meet for coffee on the spur of the moment, it’s highly unlikely anything will come of this great ‘love’.
That seldom renders these long-distance Romeos, who are probably scammers extraordinaire, silent. As a last chance, they assure me that they are more than willing to move to be near moi. At this point, I assure them that when they move to the area, they may contact me. Perhaps, if they are fortunate, I shall allow them the honor of buying me a cup of coffee at our lovely new Coffee House. Would you believe that over the last four years not ONE of them has moved to this area?
Another Cowboy
However, when I actually felt myself falling for a man who lived in another state, I knew the time arrived for a break from the sites. He fell into the category of handsome, sweet, sexy and being another cowboy. I found myself waiting for any tiny word from him. His honesty pressed him to admit, coming my way probably would never happen. He owns a ranch in Wyoming and a house in Virginia and, with my own family so needy at the moment, the chances of me going to him are non-existent.
Plenty of Fish Reeled Me In
So what pulled me back in? Plenty of Fish dating site allows browsing possibles to meet people without paying a fortune, although to get all the site offers, will cost a bit. However, I received an email telling me that Cowboy Johnny sent a message. Even I could not turn down a cowboy. Hoping that one day a cowboy just might enter my life and take me riding off into the sunset, resistance fell and I answered his message. Alas, as stated before, Johnny never showed.
Here is a tiny secret, my doting fans, your dating site guru has met a lovely fellow. He lives nearby. He loves ice coffee, which has become my new fave, and we seem to have quite a bit in common. Keep your fingers and toes crossed, my darlings. I think the time is right to meet someone. If not as a future spouse, at least as a friend to attend events and with whom to converse about many subjects would be nice.
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Two dates later: It seemed too good to be true and by golly, he turned out to be a cad of the highest order. One thing he forgot to mention, which we do not have in common – his ability to date while still married and my inability to forgive someone that pathetic. Back to the pond. Wish me happy fishing!