Going Squirrely Over Chipmunks

Going squirrely over chipmunks has become a tradition with we humans and their squirrel cousins.  In fact, the smaller of the two seems to avoid being caught, while the larger relishes it.  With joyful heart, I studied the various humane traps for capturing my tiny nemesis, the Chipmunk.  After two days of going over all information gathered, I opted for the highest rated version.  Placing the order made it possible to sleep throughout the night.   ( By the way, to those who have not kept up with the Chipmunk Saga, you might want to begin here.)

 

 

The Humane Solution for Saying Goodbye to Chipmunks

The solution to my critter problem promised not quite immediate termination of the problem.  However, it did promise eventual capture, so that the subjects’ removal might lead to more calm nights of sleep.  Within the many reviews from the purchasing public, this sturdy trap assured me to not only ensnare but hold firmly until such time as I released it into the wild.  Essentially, the promise that ‘no animal will be hurt in this capture’ let me know my chipmunk-loving friends would not approach me with hateful stares.

For whatever reason, the quick arrival promised became the not-so-quick arrival.  I discovered that with the passing of each day, my once-lengthy fingernails shrunk under the onslaught of nervous teeth.  Nights turned into tossing and turning marathons.  When sleep finally visited, rampaging chipmunks created havoc until I awoke in a sweat, checking under the covers lest one of the beasts made it into the house.

The Arrival of the Trap Guaranteed to Change My Life…Or So I Thought

A knock at the front door began our usual circus for such things.  My daughter urged the yapping dogs into the backyard, while I answered the rapping to find a grinning UPS man.  In small towns we tend to know everyone and we all know Henry.  I hastily signed the electronic gizmo and grabbed the package.  Staring at the sender’s address, I let out a ‘YIPPEEEEE!’ upon seeing the box came from Helhathnofury Company.  The trap arrived in the living room to whoops and hollers from both my daughter and me.  I ripped open the wrapping, used my handy-dandy box cutter to slash the tape sealing the box.  And there it sat…the lightest, most unimpressive composition of metal either of us ever saw.

How to Build and Bait a Better Chipmunk Trap

Obviously, we missed something while looking at this entrapping wonder, praised by so many fellow citizens.  It looked as though chipmunks or a squirrel might crush it outward, should the trap be so bold as to capture either.  However, I am a firm believer that 499 excellent reviews must be correct and that the ONE rating it at a half star should not be given a second thought.  Thus, we plowed onward into the package for the instructions.

Form a ball out of peanut butter, roll it in seeds (pumpkin seeds are a favorite).  Place peanut butter/seed ball in the back of the trap encouraging the animal to fully enter the cage.  Slide the metal door upward while catching the upper side rod behind the lower, shorter rod.  The door’s small outward pocket catches on the lever attached to the other end of the rear upper rod.

Sounded easy enough!

How to Form the All-Important Nut Ball

The first problem arose with the making of the peanut butter/seed ball.  Using two fingers to slide the peanut butter off the spoon, it was soon evident I should have greased my fingers.  Peanut butter is sticky!  Before I knew it the gooey mess decorated four fingers and a thumb on the hand that I expected to form the seed ball.  I couldn’t even get the peanut butter together, much less the seeds.  As I washed my hands, inspiration struck!  I pulled more peanut butter from the jar with one spoon and with another dumped it into a small cup of seeds.  NOTE:  The ball is quite easy to make with the seeds on the outside of the nutty spread.

How to Make Two Hands Do the Work of Three

Taking the seed ball and the trap into the wilds of my backyard, I removed the door completely, pushed the food to the rear, and sprinkled additional seeds from the ground immediately in front of the cage all the way to the back.  Then came the true test of coordination as I attempted to slide the door into the slot, catch the little pocket onto the lever while reaching to the other end of the trap and maneuvering two rods, so that the bottom one holds the top one.  Did it on the first try! (Thought I wouldn’t, didn’t you?)

Waiting for Mr. Good Chipmunk

Setting the trap immediately in front of a chipmunk hole proved to be a non-starter.  I did see one of them sitting on his chubby haunches, studying this new sun porch addition his wife obviously added to the burrow.  He did not appear in the least impressed with the design.  Eventually, I suppose he decided to tell the missus that the new room had to go.  She popped up, took a look and chittering madly, re-entered her home.

I can hear her now, “You think I put something that horrendous outside our home?  Does it look like something I would do?  Really!  I certainly know how to decorate better than that and besides, it smells of humans and peanut butter, you moron!”

Whatever, the conversation, neither of them showed near the trap again.  For two days, I wore a hole in the laminate flooring checking on the trap.  It sat, calmly and possibly, a bit sadly, not doing a darned thing that I hadn’t done before buying it.

How Success Turned Into Abject Failure

The third day I awoke to a sense of anticipation.  Tiptoeing, I know not why, to the window, I opened the shutter slats to peek into the yard.  The door to the trap was down!  I caught one!  Obviously a very big one, as it seemed to fill the entire trap.  I, for one, never saw a foot-long chipmunk, thus that could only mean the trap caught a squirrel.  Catching a squirrel is one thing; letting it go, something else entirely.  One of two things will happen.  It will joyously scamper from the trap and run into the trees, or it will turn on the trapper.  Should the latter happen, the trapper will rapidly understand what it means to say, ‘big things come in little packages’ because that squirrel will tear her up!

Grabbing an old pillowcase, I marched out into the yard.  The firm steps rapidly turned into quiet, gentle steps so as not to upset the animal further.  I covered the trap with the pillowcase, which helped calm the squirrel, pointed the door toward the furry beast’s friend, the fence, raised the door and ran like the coward I am around those little ones.  Thank goodness, he opted for the fence and trees instead of revenge.

Trapping Squirrels Does Not Lower the Chipmunk Rate

Several days since setting the trap, the count is Squirrels – 5 and Chipmunks -0.  Somehow, I believe the chipmunks are not the least bit ashamed of losing this game.  In fact, they may be sitting by their little fake fireplaces reveling in the tales of Dumb Squirrels or How to Avoid Traps.

How Domestic Problems Stifled Trapping Attempts

Perhaps catching the chipmunks would be a wee bit easier if my dog, Bennie the Brat, opted to leave the seeds alone.  That dog is 90% vegetarian, loving veggies, fruits, acorns and nuts!  He vacuums up all seeds outside the trap.  I wonder if it’s a chipmunk, but not a squirrel, thing to avoid anything smelling of humans, peanut butter and dogs? For as you have read, squirrels seem to love them all, as they once again trip the cage door!

This morning a brawl broke out in our backyard, as four squirrels fought over who got to go into the trap and grab the treat!  But then, what can you expect from animals who form suicide squads to play dodge cars on the main thoroughfares.  Meanwhile my tiny foes continue stuffing their faces with everything except the nut balls.