Oh, my darlings, men and women alike, I think I have a live one – a live scammer, that is. His picture looks like a senior man about my age, even looks grandfatherly and kind. So what is my problem with him?
It all began a couple of weeks ago. He was too pushy when I said no to his friend request. Absolutely cannot take no for an answer. Frankly, unless they are ready to try for the brass ring, seldom does anyone keep badgering a person to be their Facebook friend.
Then there is the job he has – it belongs to one of the group that travels all over the world. As you will see below the most used facades are builders, engineers, troubleshooters, although high-ranking military people overshadow those and now it seems gemologists are getting into the act. The key is that all of these particular businesses can be used as an excuse to be in far away places, usually South Africa, Nigeria, etc. Recently, Australia, New Zealand and Europe run close seconds.
I finally said yes just because I want to see how long it takes for the “I need money even though I am an independent owner of a fabulous company” request to take place. Below are primary rules for recognizing scammers or hackers and a cautionary tale on absolutely what NOT to do.
How to Recognize a Scam Artist
The relationship may not be what you think, especially if your sweetheart:
- wants to leave the dating site immediately and use personal email or IM or talk on the phone.
- claims love in a heartbeat
- claims to be from the U.S., but is traveling or working overseas
- plans to visit, but is prevented by a traumatic event or a business deal gone sour
Scammers say they are out of the country for business or military service. This usually comes after you say let’s meet. However, there are instances when this stranger suggests his new ladylove comes to him. The frightening part of this is the women who actually agree to do it. I have heard more than one woman say “he can’t get away, but really wants to meet me” or some other reason which to them sounds plausible. It is one of the things so many of them do well – sound plausible. The other trick in their bag is consoling the lonely widow or divorcee.
If you absolutely feel you must meet this person, make certain it is on your turf, around your friends, in a place you can get away from quickly and safely. Chances are he will not show up. You should never meet him in a strange place, around strange people or in his own house or apartment.
They even sound believable when they say, “I know I told you how well off I am, but, hon, I just lost a huge business deal and am a little short on cash right now. I’ve got everything paid except the electricity and need a few dollars to help me over this hump. Do you have about two hundred I could borrow for a short while?
This ploy has nothing to do with needing cash; it has to do with seeing how gullible their new ‘girlfriend’ might be. Things will continue to go downhill and his cash flow will do the same, or it would, if he had a cash flow. He will need bigger loans ‘just for a little while’ and as long as the prey goes along with the requests, all is sweetness and light. He says sweet things including how much he loves a fantastic person he has never met. In truth, he loves her bank account and wonders if eventually he can empty it completely. Good luck, should you attempt chasing him down to get back lost funds.
Oh, the ones who claim to be overseas are the worst, as they often have an accomplice in the country to intercept the funds, especially if the scammer claims to be military. Again, his needs sound so plausible. That he has a friend, who just happens to be going overseas, sounds like the perfect way to make certain you money or gifts get to the right person at the right place. Here are two instances where people I know came very close to falling for a fraud, but the alarm bells went off in time.
Woman #1 met a military man online. He sounded so nice and she is one of the beautiful people who is happy to help our military. At first, it was nice talk, sweetness and light. Eventually he got around to letting her know the military simply did not supply razors, soaps, etc. that he needed. Could she please send the items, or better still, the money to his friend who would deliver them in person? Her person claimed to be in Afghanistan and yes, his friend just happened to be going there. She listened when I told of an experience where I checked on a ‘General’ who contacted me on Skype. In addition, she heard how dating sites are rife with these predators. So, she sealed up an empty box and sent that to the friend.
You might imagine the blow back she got – everything from the scammer screaming his honesty…not too long before he threatened to get even. He claimed to know where she lived and one day she would open the door, and he would be there. Since this all happened online, she very smartly brought in a neighbor who happened to be a sheriff (this was an imaginary person she used to scare the bozo). As the sheriff, she told the man to come ahead and he had better bring an army. No further conversations ensued after that threat from her end.
Woman #2 also met her person online. He claimed to be a gemologist and his talk swept her off her feet, to the point that when he asked her to meet him over a thousand miles away, she gave it serious thought. The phone number he gave her, however, was in South Africa. After a bit of sweet talk, he got an expensive iPod card from her. Next, he requested two thousand dollars! He used a cohort, a woman, who joined him in calling Woman #2 to urge her along in sending the money. Instead, she told them she wanted proof that he was the person he claimed to be. When she stood firm on that request, he stopped calling.
Be careful talking to any strange person, man or woman, who pushes to be your friend, your true love, etc., when you have never met or even spoken on the phone. This is not the world as we knew it fifty years ago. Today’s communications make it easier for people half a planet away to reach out and touch us in ways never imagined in our youth. Not all ways are good. Do NOT hand out your email and phone number.
Be careful whether contacts arrive via email, Facebook, your cellphone or Skype. All are used to make certain someone else enjoys the money you saved for retirement. There are hackers who will not stop there. They work toward taking your home away or your car.
Good luck, if you are on a dating site. They can be fun but for every legit person, there is a predator looking for money. Do not be afraid and do not feel foolish if someone does drag you into a scam. Get mad and get even by turning every piece of evidence about the scam to the police.
For additional information regarding the Romance Scams, the following link may open eyes of those who might otherwise refuse to believe such a thing could happen to them. http://photos.state.gov/libraries/afghanistan/46736/saeediax/InternetDatingandRomanceScamsforWebsite.pdf
Note: This person started out immediately telling me he is often working overseas, is currently trying to get a most important contract. He also had no clue how to use the our language, although it seems he was born and raised here to parents who were born and raised here.
Gentlemen, please understand that you are not exempt from this type of con game. Remember, the lady praying mantis is the dangerous one…especially to her mate.
For our next lesson in avoiding scams, check in on “How to Lose $5,000,000 and Keep Your Pension!”
Unfortunately, although most men and women, who truly love their mates, think they will die with them or never be able to date, the opposite often happens. When loneliness moves in as a most uncompromising partner, and regardless of what you thought, you remain healthy and alive, you start looking. I’m not saying you go out with a new husband or wife in mind. Most just want a friend to talk with, go places they both enjoy and keep them from the world of crying and feeling sorry for themselves that loneliness offers. However, if the scoundrel that dares you to be on your own gets too overpowering, it can lead to you becoming a victim. Sometimes, while being charmed, the people simply doesn’t realize their new friends want their wallets instead of them. Our dad fell prey to someone calling him and telling him to send them a check. He had no clue who the person was or what they represented, but he had his checkbook out when our brother caught and stopped him. He had another problem that plays into losing everything since he had the beginnings of dementia. The thieves really don’t care about the circumstances of a person’s life. All they see is an opportunity and they take it without one pang of conscience. Thank you so much for commenting on our blog. These comments help it become a more popular item among millions of sites and keeps us writing to help seniors with all facets of this phase of life.
I really can’t figure out what drives a woman who has been happily married and has now lost her one and only to even look for another man. I have been married 46 years this October…I love him so much…I will probably die if my hubby passes before I do….BUT, I do not want another man. I find myself trying so hard to care for him and me, home and a pet with the crutch of ill health that sometimes I want to scream…”I CAN”T DO THIS !” Of course no one would listen so there is no point to my upset. When I hear of the scammers out there waiting to be dissected to find out what they are really seeking besides a friend and gentle secure love partner…I cringe. I am not into games…have never been. I can see right through the mind of a deviant and would not be responsible for my actions if I encountered one. Many women jump at the chance to be with a man…I never have. They must come up to my standards which are amazing high for men. Like my sister, I would be prone to luring a jerkfish in on a string, scoffing at his size (mental) and tossing him back for being a fool to even think I was.