Okay, my darlings, be truthful now, how many of you are writing or talking online to some guy or gal who makes your heart flip because of the title he or she brings to the table?
Recently I decided to go back to the dating sites and gather more information to keep you all safe. Imagine my surprise when, having barely signed on, I was approached by a man in uniform with a title any woman could love…if titles mattered to her.
Immediately this ‘gentleman’ wanted to leave the site (always a real no-no) and go onto Skype.
“Why not,” said I. After all, isn’t it always better to see the person rather than speaking anonymously? No, dear ones, it is a stupid idea unless you are gathering information for a blog piece. So, let us get this straight once and for all, if anyone immediately wants you moving off site, he or she is usually going for the jugular at some point. The jugular can be taking your dough or, in some cases, perhaps your life.
He wanted to go on Skype but without voices or pictures. Yes, sweet ones, we continued typing messages, as though still on the dating site. Oh, there was one tiny difference. The dating site had a way of checking on the bozo and tossing his rear end offsite.
I made certain, while bumbling around on Skype, to find the BLOCK button before doing anything else. Good thing, too, because, much to my surprise, a second high ranker showed up within hours after the first made his pitch. Anybody see a pattern here?
I conversed with the first guy and eventually let my suspicions that he was a con artist surface. I asked him to put up a picture of himself with the current date handwritten on a piece of paper, just to make certain he was who he said. BLAST OFF!
“I am an honorable man,” said he. And then this ‘honorable’ man offered to show his military identification card as proof he was him.
“Oh, you don’t have to do anything. You said the right thing,” said I. And, indeed, he said exactly the right thing. No military man or woman worth their salt will prove who they are by showing their military identification to some bimbo (oops, no, I am not a bimbo, but he didn’t know that). You use that card very sparingly.
I put on my best crocodile tears and begged him to forgive me. I wanted to know how far this nut would go in his charade. He forgave and on we went.
Would you believe he sent me his biography? Well, it wasn’t his exactly, but it did belong to the person whose identity he hacked. I continued checking online and had a couple of friends check, too.
Come on, darlings, would you be terribly surprised to discover that every picture this jerk used was somewhere on the Internet because he picked an exceptionally well-known, well-liked person.
Then I asked the fatal questions that (sigh) ended our relationship forever. I asked, “When will you retire?” and “When will you be coming this way?”
Sweet words and songs followed. My answer to the words and songs, “I’m waiting for the answer to those two questions.” More sweet words and songs; ditto my same answer. Obviously thinking three times the charm, he sent more words, songs. I insisted that he answer.
Pity me, dear ones, as he stormed over the Skype lines, “Well, thank you for wasting my time!” Off he went into the hackers Netherlands to snatch another identity.
So, my darlings, sweet innocent ones and Brenda, who will do anything to get a guy, listen to your head because your heart can be treacherous. If the conversations are a bit off, as these were. If the person will not answer your questions straight. If the person refuses to show proof that he or she is really who they say, run, skip and jump away from that person.
Let’s check what happened to give away the ruse. 1) Huge military title (honey, if he can’t get a date on his own, then no one can; 2) anxious to tell you he/she doesn’t need your dough (okay, that’s a new one); 3) refusal to show proof of identity by putting up pic and current date; 4) can’t or won’t answer a question such as ‘when will you retire’ (let’s face it, most of us know our retirement date about two minutes after we start our first job).
And, for crying out loud, if he/she says go to Skype but will not talk face to face, block that sucker.
I also took the precaution of alerting the real person he was hacking and he is now being hunted by the military he so blithely tried to hack.