When our babies finally go to school or anywhere we cannot shelter them, one of the first things we tell them is “Never Trust a Stranger.”  How many times do we drum this into their heads?   Yet, somewhere between then and the time they move on to their adult lives, we cease to hear that familiar warning in our own heads.  To put senior safety first, we must go back to that earlier warning we gave our babies.

Stranger at the Door

Today I watched a television show about a couple who answered the door to a young man needing to use their telephone.  The woman hesitated at first, then tossed caution to the wind and allowed him into the house.  Too late she discovered the phone had nothing to do with his visit.  The end result:  two senior citizens buried alive because they trusted too easily.  A shiver ran over me when I remembered how close my husband and I came to a similar ending.

We retired to Florida – a dream come true.  For the first several years, all went well.  We lived on Longboat Key where bad things seldom occurred.  In case some criminal did attempt the unthinkable, the police quickly ordered bridges at both ends lifted to stop the escape.  Eventually, however, due to my husband’s health, we moved to a home we owned on the mainland in Sarasota.  I loved living there, with the shops, pharmacy, hospitals and, any entertainment imaginable available within minutes.  One really bad habit followed me wherever we lived, a very dangerous habit.

Having grown up in the country where people didn’t lock their doors, I resisted doing so, even forty years into our marriage.  It just seemed too cold and untrusting.  My husband, a New Jersey/New York fellow, seldom shared my trust of all human beings.  He kept the doors locked if he was home, but I had a habit of running to the store and not bothering to lock up.  That drove him crazy and set the stage for our few arguments.

It’s A Neighbor – No Problem, or Is It?

Due to having no one to take his place upon his retirement, Bruce moved to Florida long after our disabled daughter and I.  He joined us three years later.  Within a year and a half, he landed in the hospital as a candidate for five heart bypasses.  When he never fully recovered, I urged him to sell our Longboat home and move into the newly remodeled Sarasota rental which sat empty for two months.

One evening while Bru worked in the office and I finished cleaning up after supper, a knock came at the front door.  I opened it wide to a total stranger.

“Hi, I’m your neighbor from around on Spencer.  My wife just called and her car broke down.  She said the tow truck driver won’t accept anything but cash and we are tapped out.  Could you possibly loan me $35.  I’ve been watching your husband.  Perhaps he has it.”

I froze when he did not say “I saw your husband.”  Instead he said, “I’ve been watching your husband.”  That meant he probably knew Bruce used a cane to get around.

“Honey, what’s going on?”  If I could have collapsed in Bruce’s arms, I would have, but that was not the time.

“Our neighbor says his wife’s car broke down and he needs $35 for the tow truck.  He wants to know if we can loan it to him.”

“No, sorry, we don’t have any cash in the house.  How about if I take you to where your wife is and see if I can talk the tow driver into taking plastic?”

“Oh, no, that’s fine.  Are you sure you don’t have any money?”

“Not a dime.  Honey, get my jacket.  Looks like rain out there.”  Bruce motioned me behind him.  Our daughter, thank goodness, was asleep.

 

How to Protect Yourself or Your Loved One From Stranger Danger

“Bru, why don’t you take Mr. Scotty with you?  You know he loves to ride when you go out.”

The Scottish terrier, named Mr. Scotty, stood watching the stranger.  He dearly loved my husband and adopted him as his human the moment they met.  Like his master, the dog knew no fear.  He went after a Rottweiler as a pup and grew to adulthood protecting any animal he thought weaker.  Should the man try to harm my husband, he would find himself with a pissed-off terrier on his hands.  This particular terrier’s teeth could make that Rottweiler jealous.  With jaws made specifically for holding onto animals in their burrows and dragging them out into the light. he posed a danger few recognized.  He also had one other trait few know about in Scotties.  The top of his head is rock hard, another protection in the underground burrows.

In addition to the dog, the cane I handed my husband was not his usual one.  It had a huge knob on the end.  I had bought it as a show piece, but it would make a great weapon, if he needed it.

“Oh, hold on a minute,” sputtered our visitor.  “I have to go lock the house.  I’ll be right back.”  There was no way he had time to go to a house on Spencer before he returned.  Turned out, he had a buddy outside and had to tell him things weren’t going the way they expected.

As soon as men and dog were outside, for once I locked the front door, ran to lock the back door and grabbed the phone to call 911.

“A man come to the door wanting money.  We didn’t have any so my husband is driving him away from the house.  I don’t think he’s being honest and I’m really worried about my husband.  Please ask the police to find him.”  I gave a description of the car, along with the tag number and the area they were supposedly headed.  Then I waited and waited and waited, until the phone finally rang.

“Mrs. DiGiovanni?”

“Yes, this is she.”

“We found them.  The man got out of the car, claiming to be near his mother’s home.  Your husband is headed home.”

“Thank you!  Thank you so much!” I cried to the officer.

A few minutes later, Bru knocked on the door.  With a slightly mocking grin, he said, “I see you locked the door.”

The next day, our homeowner’s association sent out a letter, warning people of two men in the area who were trying to break into homes by claiming one of them had a wife with car trouble. They were a day late with the information for us, but it helped others avoid them.  Fortunately no one was seriously hurt by these men, but our story might have ended so differently.

Take the Advice You Gave Your Kids

Please, take the advice you gave your children.  Put senior safety first and never trust a stranger.  To do so could literally be the death of you.  Bruce noted several things that made him suspicious.

1. He, too, heard the man say he had been watching Bruce.
2. No tow truck driver refuses a credit or debit card, if it goes through.
3. No tow truck driver is going to charge a mere $35.
4. He didn’t like the way the man kept looking all around the room at our belongings.

And when he got the man out of the house, I knew some very important information:

• Make, model, year and color of car.
• Tag number of car.
• The area the man gave where the car was supposed to have broken down.

Choose a Means to Protect Yourself

Both of us realized Bru needed something to protect himself.  In our case, it was a loyal dog and a heavy cane.  Had we owned a gun, one way or the other, he would have carried that. But remember, even that situation can go wrong, if the bad guy takes the gun away.

Primarily, we are responsible for our own safety.  Locking doors and never trusting strangers are the first steps to take. At this point in our lives, we need to think “senior safety first.” Don’t worry about appearing rude. Your life could depend on your decision.