Grandma’s keepsakes clearly won’t win popularity contests with the kids and grandkids. Our style just doesn’t fly in today’s world. I’m ok with that but there are some antiques and a few other items that I hung on to and would like to see stay in the family. However, realist that I am, that’s not likely.
Years ago, in the early 1980’s, my husband gifted me with a beautiful mink jacket. Where I lived at that time, women wore them with everything, and I certainly used my jacket often. But in 2001, Jim and I decided to move to Southwest Florida and began to weed out, sell and give away many of our belongings. The last thing I needed in the warm, sultry temps of Englewood, Florida, was a mink anything!
Nineteen years later, my gorgeous mink jacket now resides with one of my adult granddaughters. Actually, she shares it with her sister. But they both seem to enjoy wearing it. This makes me happy, because I also enjoyed it when I was younger.
Now, I wonder what to do with quite a few pieces of antique glassware, dating back to the early 1900’s. My grandmother treasured these items, and my mother eventually passed them on to me. But the truth is, no one wants Grandma’s keepsakes.
No One Wants My Stuff!
Four of my 5 remaining children are sons. Guys do not care about “stuff,” and that is all that my precious keepsakes are to the boys – “stuff.” My daughter’s tastes are quite different from mine, and she won’t want them either.
I don’t get overly attached to “things.” Two big moves ended that habit. When we moved from our longtime home where I raised my children to a down-sized house, I went through the normal angst of disposing of many pieces of furniture. Items that had to go were the sofa that bore a few signs of a child’s “artwork” on one arm, 2 traditional wing chairs that had been re-covered a couple of times, and children’s belongings they had long outgrown and didn’t want to keep. It wasn’t easy.
By the time we moved to Florida, I was an old hand at purging “stuff.” The time even came when I sold my sterling silver flatware on Ebay. I would have sold the Lenox china, but the market wasn’t there for it. And 19 years later, I still haven’t used that lovely china! It just takes up space in the china cabinet, along with the set of crystal goblets.
Frankly, if my lifestyle has no use for the items that once mattered to me and my ancestors, why should I expect my children to want
Know What Your Family Wants to Keep When You Die
My goal is to not leave a mess for my children to deal with when I die. They each have a list of who gets what of my personal items. My husband and I together determined the disposal of everything else when we are both gone. Because the law in my state doesn’t allow me to add personal items to our Will, we created a document, signed and dated, and gave copies to each of our children, so there will be no problem and no arguments once we are gone.
If there are items the kids don’t want, dispose of them beforehand if you choose. Or provide the family with a list of charities that will take your keepsakes and donate them to people who need them.
How You Can Dispose of Your Keepsakes
Whether you decide to get rid of items while you are alive or wait and let your heirs deal with them, plenty of options exist to assist you. Many places even offer pick up in their trucks.
Sell it!
Sell your belongings on E-bay or Craig’s List or even Next Door. There’s a market for everything! Just don’t expect to get top dollar for them, because what is valuable to you may only seem used or old to someone else.
Donate it!
So many people struggle today to survive, and your old sofa may be the difference between a place to sit, sleep or even eat a meal to someone who has nothing. Habitat for Humanity offers pick-up on some items. Your local homeless shelter might need you donation of kitchen ware or beds. Sometimes, I see requests on my local Next Door for basic furniture for a homeless mother with children who are desperate to escape a bad situation and start over.
Help others while helping yourself!
Refurbish it!
Maybe 35 years ago, a dear friend who we helped through a nasty divorce full of worry about how to feed her children and find a job, wanted to thank me and insisted on giving me her late mother’s mink stole. I kept it for years, even after we moved to Florida.
She lived near us and had no more need for fur than I did. She gave her mother’s mink jacket to her daughter. I solved the problem of her mink stole by using it to create and sew a large teddy bear. The stuffed bear thrilled her and and she promptly named it Sis, a nickname used by her own mother.
This site offers good suggestions for dealing with unwanted items before or after someone passes.
Consider all the ways you could refurbish or transform a keepsake that no one wants before you get rid of it.
Decide What You Want and Do It!
As you go through your belongings, make lists of who gets what. Include photos when you can. Create a list of items to donate before or after you die. Of course, if your state allows you to place your personal items within your Will, that is the sensible thing to do.
Remember, any efforts you make now to organize, set aside or eliminate will help your children or heirs later. Don’t get rid of anything you use or love. After all, your life is not over. Just plan for the future. Your family will thank you.
You have related, almost verbatim, my efforts the last year. My niece is wearing my mink coat in Chicago’s bitter Winters; my brother and sister in law inherited my China and cherished wood chip Asian pictures. My children accepted exactly one item each from our items from our former home. We’ve given to SPCA, Cancer Society and Hospice. We asked an Estate liquidator in and were advised not to rid ourselves of the little things as they attract buyers who then linger to purchase larger pieces. She would pay us a “lot” price. I am determined not to leave these decisions to our children.