I waited for him to arrive home. It was just the two of us now and frankly, without the kids we forgot how to talk to each other. We spent too many evenings munching on every possible junk food and drinking diet sodas to remove the calories. The television kept us focused on its screen instead of each other. That morning I decided it was time to get to know the man I had been married to for the last many years.
Checking my chunky build in the full-length mirror, I tossed the old standby of women everywhere, the sexy nightie, out of my dreams. Stuck in the back of the closet was a gorgeous silk caftan that slipped easily over curves without pointing out every roll the body had accumulated over the years. My husband had always loved seeing me in it. I had no clue why it stopped being one of my favorites. A sexy pair of open-toed one-inch heel sandals complemented it perfectly.
My first thought was a formal candlelight supper, getting lost in each other over a fabulous meal of lobster and wine…except that really wasn’t us. Oh, we loved lobster and wine, but formal dining wasn’t something in which either of us delighted. So on to Plan II.
He arrived at 6:00 p.m. on the day he retired from his job of over thirty-five years. Beneath his smile, sadness lurked in his eyes. He had yet to decide how to fill his days once he no longer had an office to attend. I kissed him, a long, lingering kiss – something else we had not done in far too long. The sadness was replaced by surprise before he got into the swing of returning the kiss.
I took his hand leading him to the living room where most furniture had been removed. By this time I truly believe he forgot his retirement. He always said I continued to surprise him. Tonight would be no different. Our best lace tablecloth covered the carpet. A two-hundred dollar bottle of wine (that I did not tell him) rested in a sparkling silver bucket of ice. Silver lids covered each dish. The china we inherited from his mother, white with a black lace border edged in gold, pulled us forward.
Urging him to sit on the soft, luxurious cushion at his place, I uncovered the coral colored lobsters. Broccoli with hollandaise sauce and small red potatoes finished the offering. Making certain the silk of my gown brushed against him, I tied a lobster bib around his neck. He tried to touch my leg and I skipped out of reach grinning wickedly while moving around to my plate.
He poured the wine. Lifting the glass to his lips, he tested it and approved. With my glass filled, he toasted us, saying, “To the woman I married – a woman of surprises, of joy, of kindness, and with whom life would not have been nearly as much fun. I love you, sweetheart.”
After supper, we did a quick pick up, knowing the task would still be waiting tomorrow. Something much more important awaited us. We made love, discovering today’s people and enjoying them just as much as we had the younger versions. We talked, never having realized how much we each had to say. We made plans.
We surprised ourselves by making love a second time. Still we were not tired. We decided on a future of activity, making us useful to the community, and still give us time to travel. Most of all, we swore to never let life get in the way of our marriage again.
How I wish this had been the case in my marriage. I did plan this meal for the day he would retire. When it came time I lived a thousand miles away, preparing our new home for his arrival. Then we started a boat business. Within a year, he needed five heart bypasses. Life and almost death kept getting in the way. He never really recovered from the bypasses because infection put him in the hospital for two months.
Again I planned a special homecoming and again he was in no shape to enjoy it. He came home depressed because his recovery took so long. Time flew past and finally he stood and walked about. Once more I planned the great sexy meal surprise for the next day. The morning of the meal to be, he had a massive stroke, destroying so much of his poor body.
We moved to be near our children hoping to get help for him; all to no avail. Three years of therapy, doctors, medications, emergency runs to the hospitals did nothing to allow him to walk or speak again. He fought to be with us through our anniversary and our son’s birthday before giving in to his need for the final rest. He never had that sexy, sassy fabulous meal and I will regret it to my dying day.
Take time, for a sexy dinner or whatever it takes to let your partner know how special he or she is in your life. It doesn’t have to be a picnic on the living room floor. How about a walk in the woods to a place you readied in advance? Or, some people do like formal dinners. Whatever it is, make it out of the ordinary, unexpected, and let your partner know the message behind it – I Love You.