It took seven years, being engaged, handing over almost ten thousand dollars before she discovered her fiancé was a con artist and she his target.
She met him at a luncheon his company sponsored to help seniors make the most of their retirement funds and income. She filled out a card asking for more information. A few days passed before he called asking her to lunch to discuss the plans available, especially the one that almost guaranteed the investor would not lose money. She accepted.
Eventually, she decided the plan sounded far too good to pass up and she enrolled. To his credit, she did not lose money. In fact, she made money. They saw each other a couple of times a year to discuss her finances. Seven years later things changed between them.
Both attended a friend’s Christmas party. They talked for a short time before he made an excuse to leave.
Months passed before she returned to his office for a financial update and discovered his office assistant no longer worked there. He looked so lost and sad she offered to help office duties. He told her his pitiful story of so many of his peers doing him wrong that drew her even closer.
Curiously, he did not have her fill out any personnel paperwork. Occasionally he handed over a few dollars as payment.
Not long after she began working, they got into a conversation – a very unbusinesslike conversation. He told her that at the Christmas party he was shocked to discover how jealous he was when he saw her with another man. One thing led to another and within a few months, he convinced her to marry him, presenting her with a gorgeous platinum three-carat diamond ring.
Plans for their future became a normal subject. He suggested they start a new company as a couple. It did not occur to her that he used her as a shill, giving legitimacy to the business meetings. By making her his ‘secretary’ in the business plan, she would be an equal partner with decision-making capability.
Oh, and by the way, having been treated so badly by his peers, his credit was in question at the moment, so she opened all the business accounts in her name. Taken with the fun of opening a new business and creating a new life and making grand plans, she went along with it. Besides if the plans fell through, the ring was sufficient collateral to make certain she got her money back.
She asked him to go to church with her. He did so, with no argument, which emboldened her in giving him another loan. After all, he seemed so happy to be in God’s house again. Yet when she refused to live and sleep with him because of her religion, he stopped going immediately.
She found herself supporting his country club golfing as well as paying the business expenses, always with assurances that repayment would be forthcoming. Three months and eight thousand dollars later, she balked, refusing to hand over any more money. During their time together, he often counted her money, but never seemed to have any of his own, assuring her he would be wealthy when the court settled three lawsuits he brought against other companies.
If she asked about a wedding date, he answered that her funds might not be enough to bring to a marriage if he won more from the lawsuits.
When she flatly refused to hand over another dime, their relationship ended. Hoping to get her money back through the sale of her engagement ring, she soon discovered it was cut glass and nothing more.
“How could I have fallen for this? Why didn’t I see it coming? Why was I so blind to the con?” she asked a friend.
“Maybe because it didn’t happen in a week or a month; it happened over a seven-year span. You believed you knew him and could trust him. Even when you gave him money and felt a little queasy over it, you thought the ring would cover any losses. It is not that hard to fall when a con operator who plans in advance. He knows his every move and can almost count on what yours will be.”
She is out of the relationship, eight thousand dollars poorer and looking at her options. Even worse, she has now discovered he dated several other women while ‘engaged’ to her.
How did it happen?
On his part:
- built up her trust;
- took his time running the con;
- professed undying love for as long as he knew her, held back only by an incomplete divorce;
- asked her to marry him now that he was free;
- bought a fabulous fake engagement ring;
- promised to take care of her in a grand manner forever;
- knew exactly how much money she had saved;
- knew she might trust him if he went to church with her;
- convinced her they would, indeed, be married…one day, thus her financial help made their future brighter.
In other words, he knew his target.
On her part:
- trusted his financial knowledge;
- later trusted him outside financial relationship;
- flattered by his profession of love;
- put too much trust in the engagement ring;
- happy that someone wanted to give her a good life;
- put too much emphasis on his willingness to attend church;
- loaned money before marriage.
More than anything, as a senior, perhaps the thought of being alone and lonely blinded her to the real plan. Definitely having an exciting future to look forward to, made avoiding looking too closely easier to do.
Why does this happen? Click here for Part II.