Your date is a No Show? What do you do? Let me tell you, ladies and gents, what you do not do…go into a huge mope. It’s a waste of time, energy and effort. What you do is have a Plan B in the works.
What your date doesn’t appear, pull out that Plan B and have some fun! Case in point is my latest date to have lunch with a gentleman whom I enjoyed talking with on computer and by phone. The last is amazing in itself as I personally despise telephones. I tend to think of them as an intrusion except when traveling.
When Skepticism Rules a Date:
During our conversations, I noted he lived almost two hours away. Frankly when he said that made no difference, I had heard that line before and sheltered more than a little skepticism. Remember, other than a few computer and phone conversations, we never met face to face. In spite of the obvious joy so many have in technical gadgets, I am old-fashioned enough to prefer seeing the real person instead of still images. Reading faces, body language and listening to the unhindered human voice, all say so much more about a person. Therefore, I made alternate plans, just in case of a no show.
Plan Alternate for No Show Date:
When my date doesn’t show, I have a hobby. Actually it’s a life dream of being a published author. I always have a notebook of short stories or a book I am writing with me. While waiting, I have the option of adding to the stories or editing the pages. The difficult part is pulling away from writing or editing to order the meal and eat it, if the date doesn’t show. And if he does show, I may not realize it for a short time because I am deeply involved in the work. That can be a little embarrassing.
What I Did When My Date Didn’t Show
However, today my date did not show. I gave him thirty minutes before deciding the delicious smells coming from my friend’s restaurant kitchen really required sampling. Meanwhile, having chosen a place in my hometown, I met several acquaintances and dear friends with whom to chat. A woman from our theater group and her son sat at the table in front of mine and we talked for a time. Later a woman and her daughter, whom I thoroughly enjoy working with on town projects, arrived. It doesn’t hurt to know the owner of the establishment either. She and I chatted until paying customers arrived to do just that…pay.
Waving farewell, I walked to the car to tuck a to-go box safely away while I made a run to the bank. Knowing everyone who works there is equally enjoyable and I took time to say a few words to each. Next on my list of fun places to visit, my favorite coffee shop, Cornerstone Coffee, on Main Street. Without a doubt, they have the big name coffee shops beat all hollow with coffee that is never bitter or biting to the tongue. Of course, more friends waited there and with business a little slow after the lunch crowd, we spoke for several minutes.
More Stops, More Chats, More Friends
After good-byes, the fabulous clothing shop on the corner across from the coffee shop beckoned. My last visit lingered too far in the past and like most women, I wondered what new deals hung on the racks. The salesladies greeted me with a cheerful hello as they inquired about my daughter, for whom they arranged a wonderful tea party previously. A delightful ruffled confection of a blouse caught my attention and now rests happily in the closet waiting for church on Sunday.
A visit to the library rendered some philodendron shoots from a library volunteer. While there, an opportunity arose to help a new friend to the car with items from the little annex store run by the librarians. All errands and stops around town, rounded out the excursion that otherwise, might have been an enjoyable lunch, yet ended by being so much more.
Small Town Life vs. Big City Living
My town is a small one of about one thousand people. It is a given that everyone knows everyone else or a near relative, so turning a lost date into a most enjoyable day is not that difficult. But what if you live in the big, impersonal city? What do you do if your date doesn’t show?
How about before leaving for that date that may not happen, you choose a movie to see? Take along a magazine you meant to read, but time did not allow. A friend depends on her love of crossword puzzles. She’s never without a small one in her handbag. Been wanting to decorate a room in the house? Perfect time to go shopping for the supplies to make that dream come true? Not yet financially solvent for that big project? Window shopping costs little, but often provides big rewards. How about picking up paint sample cards, check out bedspreads, knickknacks to make the design truly yours?
Keep Smiling
No matter what happens, moping is not the key. Keep smiling. Know that you are worth knowing and dating. If the date does not show for one reason or another, if you have other events on your schedule, the loss is small. The gain, however, may be a godsend in that you accomplish more than you originally intended.
I came home to a daughter who wanted to know about my day while waiting impatiently to tell me about hers. We took time to be with each other and enjoy the various pleasures of our day. There is nothing in my life more important than our time together.
Remember, when planning that date that may or may not happen, make it a great occasion, no matter what the outcome. Life is too short to take every disappointment to heart. The adage about making lemonade when life hands you lemons is true every moment.
The Rest of the Story
As a famous man used to say, ‘And now, the rest of the story. The gentleman called soon after I arrived home apologizing for not making our lunch date. It seems he hit a dead spot where his phone and GPS lost signals. He ended up in a completely different area. He’s asked if we might plan to meet again. What could I say but yes? Either way, I end up a winner. If he shows, we might discover we truly like each other. If he doesn’t, well, there is always another blog article…right?
And Even More of the Story…
My friend did get back with me and we talked on the phone and via the site. Thoroughly enjoyed the conversations until he asked if there was a hotel nearby, in case he came to my neck of the woods. I said the closest was about fifteen minutes away. That’s when he asked, “Could I stay at your house?” Being a glutton for blog information, I said yes. He was all for coming to see me for sure then. Of course, I was not going to let him or anyone I never met stay at my home.
The next day I wrote him stating my agreement to his staying with us just did not suit me or how I grew up. I told him my other responsibilities simply made it totally unfeasible. Although he sounded very nice on the phone, I still did not really know him.
Ladies and Gents, it was amazing how quickly his urge to see me and say hello changed to we are too far apart for a relationship! Haven’t heard from him since. REMEMBER, if a person is getting super friendly only because they think they can sashay into your home and become an overnight guest, think twice, then three times before doing such a foolhardy thing. One of at least three things might happen:
1) theft
2) battery or molestation or worse to family members
3) the person moves in and you cannot get him or her out again.
Be smart. Be safe. And maybe be just a touch paranoid.