Our First Meeting
He said nothing about “almost divorced” when we first met. Otherwise, the first meeting would never have happened. His dating site profile cited him as divorced and free to move on with life. We met for a cold coffee at the new Java Hut in town. My familiar drink, a mocha latte blended, offered cool relief from Alabama summer days. He opted for the same and we sat down to become acquainted.
His hair hung in an attractive shaggy frame around his face, offsetting a golfer’s tan very nicely. At well over six feet tall, he literally loomed over my five feet two inches. I found him handsome in a rugged sort of way.
The conversation began on a light note, soon moving across a spectrum of interests. We discovered many common interests. Within a short time, I found myself intrigued with this new fellow and decided he just might be worth getting to know. Suppertime for my daughter and brother broke up the most interesting conversation I enjoyed in years. I said good-bye to Russ.
Worth a Second Meeting
Earlier in the week, I planned a game night for friends from the Senior Center. After passing along a note on the dating site asking Russ to join us for the evening, I found myself laughing when he accepted the invitation. While waiting for the big day, I often thought over what I knew about this new fellow.
A retired ophthalmologist, Russ golfed twice a week. His daughter claimed the opposite political party and insisted he resign from the NRA. He agreed to her request but, as an avid hunter, refused to give up his guns. I told him I also had a family member of the opposite party, but it made no difference. I adored her. Russ and I shared the same religious background and enjoyed doing many of the same things, like dancing, as entertainment.
Overall, I found myself hoping this one really worked out.
Game night came and we played cards, talked and laughed some more. All too soon, the evening ended and I saw him out to the car. That’s when the bomb dropped. His parting words stunned me.
“We can get more serious when my wife, my soon-to-be ex-wife, is out of the picture.”
“Soon-to-be?” I asked.
“Yes, it won’t be too long.”
“Russ, I do not date almost divorced. Whether you like it or not, that means you are still married. Almost divorced is also not yet free. So, unless you are totally free, this is it for us.”
And the Almost Divorced Wife Calls
A few days later the phone rang and the number shown belonged to Russ. I answered, fully prepared to tell him to remove my number from his electronic address book. Imagine my surprise, when a woman’s voice spoke.
“This is Martha Manning.** Russell Manning** is my husband. Although we are in the process, it will be a long time before the divorce is completed”
“Hello, Mrs. Manning. You have nothing to worry about from me. When I discovered he was in the process of being and not completely divorced, I told him good-bye. Please don’t worry about this, okay?”
“You aren’t seeing him?”
“No, ma’am. For forty-four years, my husband and I enjoyed being faithful to each other. That’s how it works in my world. I never wanted ‘the other woman’ in my marriage and I can assure you that I have no intention of being the other woman. However, I would very much like to get to know you. I think we might be friends.”
“You know, we just might at that. Perhaps one day we could meet.”
Make a New Friend/Light Up a Life
“If you are ever in town and want a cup of coffee or an iced coffee drink, let me know and we can meet at the Java Hut. We might have more in common than a man who does not know how to be faithful.” I told her.
“Did you know he’s been married four times and currently has a mistress staying at our lake cabin?” she asked. “One wife died and two divorced him and, of course, I’m in the process of doing so. The only thing I asked him was that he not date until we finalized the divorce. Instead, he joined four dating sites! He has no clue how to be faithful, for even a short time.”
More than a little shocked at her revelations, I recovered and made a suggestion.
“When you complete the divorce, call me. There is also a music hall with dancing in town. How about we go out and celebrate your freedom!”
It was good to hear her laugh.
She said, “I hated to make this call; afraid it would be confrontational. Thank you for making it easier. I actually like you and yes, I just might give you a call when this is over. That music hall sounds like fun!”
The Final Act
If you talk to the aggrieved spouse, be kind, as I was with Russ’s wife. Her problems are bad enough without hearing things from you that will hurt her more. In this case, there was nothing to tell except I had no use for a person who did not know how to be faithful to his current spouse.
I prefer never-been-married and widowers, when dating. Divorces can be nasty. They can be ongoing dramas that get in the middle of new marriages of the former partners. There can be financial problems, children to consider, even if those children are full grown, with children of their own. There is no reason to add more pain to someone who is already weighted down by some slug like this woman’s husband. Remember, when a man or woman is willing to cheat on their partners with you, it’s a pretty good bet they will do the same if you are foolish enough to date or marry him/her.
Make a more new posts please 🙂
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Sanny
I want to know, did she ever call and meet up for coffee and dancing?
The divorce is still pending. She won’t do what she asked him not to do, which is go out where she might meet someone of the opposite sex. That’s one reason I truly like her.
She never did, but she has my number should she ever want to.