When we speak of someone being melancholy, the term is often associated with depression and in a way it is. However, for the widow, it is a time to rejoice because melancholy is a step toward rising out of Depression’s depths.
It is a time when the laughter stops ending abruptly in tears. It is a time when we give ourselves permission to go on with life. It is a time of quiet celebration.
We drift up slowly from depression. Perhaps for the first time, in what seems forever, we notice the sun is shining bright. Gentle breezes tickling our cheeks claim our attention. Grass is green again, flower buds promise a plethora of beauty in the new season.
Melancholy is spring after the harsh winter of its cousin. A child’s laughter makes us smile. A beloved pet, demanding attention is no longer pushed aside.
We know we will survive when we notice the dust bunnies that gathered during our time of loss. We clean. At first it’s a gentle dusting or a broom pushed across the kitchen floor. Gradually the pace increases and we find ourselves whirling through room after room, wanting to make the house and our lives shine again.
We check the cabinets and wonder what food we ate these past months because the cupboards are literally bare. We see no dishes from our home, but many strange ones, most dirty, fill the sink and line the counters.
We are appalled at the squalor. We fill the dishwasher and still there are more. Grabbing a trash bag, we fill it with the endless trash that must have been surrounding us for weeks or months. How did we let this happen? Memories of days in bed, endless crying and the urge to never get up again filter through our consciousness. Faces of friends and neighbors who visited (that explains the strange dishes) march across our minds.
We take the trash to the curb. Neighbors wave. The sun warms deep into places too long cold. We smile and wave in return. Our steps lighten as we turn to go inside.
Blinds, curtains and windows open. It is time to get up, get out and get on. We move with purpose, pulling our memories close while no longer allowing them to strangle us.