This post is a bit different than the others. If we and our children live long enough, THAT decision must be made. This literally came to me in a dream.”
“Do you think I wanted to leave my home and move in with your ma and pa?” Granny scowled. “I was brought up to be strong and depend on myself, especially after your grandpa died young.”
“Granny, that was so long ago and things were different.”
“Not so different as you might think. Your grandpa was a fine man, but he got real sick when your ma was barely five years old. He left me with six young’uns to raise and a farm to hold on to for all of us.”
“With that many children, you had plenty of help.” With my own problems niggling around in my mind, I only half listened to Granny.
“No so much, young lady. Your uncle Travis was the oldest at seventeen, followed by Martha at sixteen, Mark at fifteen, and Wayne at twelve. Leslie came along way later and was but six years when Jess died. Your ma, Missy, was only five.”
“That’s still a lot of kids to help out.”
“No, child, that’s a lot of mouths to feed, with little money coming in and a lot of acres to plant. We hung on though until Travis and Mark went in the army. By that time, Martha was dating a fine young man and near ‘bout engaged. Within a year, she left home, too. I hung on one more year, only to have Wayne join his older brothers. It was painful, but I signed the papers to get him in service. At least there he’d get plenty to eat every meal. That left Missy and Leslie. They wanted to help, but they just weren’t old enough or strong enough to get much done.”
“What did you do, Granny?”
“The only thing left to me. I sold the farm for what little I could get and moved outside Montgomery to a row house. I took in ironing and cooked for some of the folks in town.”
“Everything worked out okay. What brought you to living with Mama and Daddy?”
“Your ma was a beautiful young woman, who caught the eye of many a young man. By age seventeen, your pa convinced her to marry him. Leslie had met and married a girl a month earlier. That left me alone. Women didn’t live alone in them days if they didn’t have to. Your pa asked me to move in with them because he had joined the Navy and was shipping out. Your ma was big with your older brother and not feeling too well.”
“Then you were needed. This is totally different, Granny. I won’t serve any purpose in the kid’s house except be a nuisance. They don’t need me.”
“Look, child, I helped your ma have the baby, but that didn’t mean everything went smooth. We fought over so many things. I had my way of doing things and she had hers and, though we lived in the same houses most of her life, we couldn’t have been more different.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of, Granny. What if we fight so much, they want me to leave. Where will I go? What if they want to put me in a home? How can I fight them about that?
“You can stop being a durned wimp, that’s what. You do what you have to and if you can’t afford a place, then you make sure living with your children works. Of course, you’ll fight sometimes. If you don’t, you’re not human.”
“Granny, you never went to a home. You don’t know how scared I am of going to one. I think I’d rather die and get it over with. How can a life of being needed turn into one of barely getting by. How can losing your husband become a requiem on your own life? How do you get over being alone?”
“You remember you come from tough stock. You hold your shoulders straight and don’t let anybody run over you. You’re still a young woman, barely turned sixty-four. There’s not one reason for you to roll over and let anyone make you do something you’d rather not. Losing a husband is hard, but it’s hardly the end of the world. You miss him, and you go on living.”
“You found the strength so I guess I can. After all, I’m my grandmother’s grandchild, right?” A smile touched my lips, the first since the funeral. “Wait, Granny, don’t leave.”
“I don’t have a choice, child. You’re waking up. I love you, Midge.”
“I love you, too.” The words left my lips as I awoke. The smile remained after Granny’s visit. That was the second time she came to me when I needed guidance the most.
Sitting up and squaring my shoulders, I got ready for a day of moving in with my children. Maybe this could work after all.