Especially for those who had long marriages and lost their spouses late in life, birthdays become milestones we dread. They are seen as another year spent without a partner, a true confidante and without that special person to hold us for life’s good and bad moments.
The mirror showing each new line and wrinkle makes us wonder whether anyone could ever love the persons we’ve become. The strong, lithe bodies of youth have transformed into pot bellies and sagging skin. We now have operation scars and all the marks of a life already spent.
The birthday cakes, so happily provided with off-key singing, which were once jokes to share with our mates later, are now bitter reminders that so much of our lives have passed. We would rather that date went by in silence so we could pretend it never happened. And that is where we are so wrong!
Birthdays are, indeed, to be celebrated! They mean we have not only survived, but possibly thrived another year. We have seen our children expand their horizons and our grandchildren grow another year toward the challenges of adulthood. The cakes and the singing are not pessimistic messengers of doom; they are heralds of more life ahead of us. They tell us of those who are glad we are alive and who want to celebrate that life.
I saw ‘Bucket List’ and marveled that anyone would make one of those. As the story unfolded, it became clear that at least one character was nearing the end of his life and he was trying to pack all the wonders of this world into a short time. Why wait? This is your time to see those wonders. Don’t make a list. Don’t limit yourself.
How many of you stayed up or set your clocks to awaken for the Blood Moon this month? One of my friends did just that and couldn’t wait to tell me of her experience. While gazing at the moon, a movement at the corner of her eye made her turn. There gazing at her was a wolf! They stared at each other for several seconds before she turned to go in the house. She was breathless with excitement over such a rare opportunity. Later it turned out to be a very large, compact coyote. It doesn’t matter. That special memory will be with her for a long time.
My friends and I got up at 2 a.m. one morning to watch a meteor shower. We carried thermoses of coffee and Danish pastries. A few bottles of wine, loaves of bread, cheese and fruit were also brought over to our spot on the beach. We laid head to head in a circle watching Nature’s spectacle for over an hour. The youngest of the group was in her forties, the oldest in his nineties. Age is not a barrier to spontaneous fun. Only the fear of looking foolish to ‘they’ or ‘them’ holds us back.
Stop scheduling our life. You have earned the right to do things on the spur of the moment. On your next birthday, grin like the Cheshire cat and join the fun because you know a secret…you no longer are held in thrall by the world. At your age, you are free! Become Auntie Mame and live. We aren’t promised tomorrow or the next minute, but we can promise ourselves to use those moments allotted joyously and without guilt.