It’s that time of year again. You know…the time when we drive ourselves to the brink of exhaustion trying to create perfect holidays for our families.
It doesn’t matter how old we are, we still want our children and grandchildren to experience the holidays “the way it used to be.”
But darn it all, some days it just seems too much! First, the house must be cleaned from top to bottom. Then, we must pull out all the Christmas decorations collected over many years.
Decorating the tree is a major undertaking. I don’t have young children at home anymore to help choose the best branches on which to hang certain ornaments. I want the tree to look the way they all remember, but it’s a lot of work! So here are a few suggestions to help you relax and enjoy the holiday season.
Don’t Be Afraid of Change!
As our families change, both in age and in numbers, traditions may also have to change. We cannot expect a new daughter-in-law or son-in-law to take on the traditions we formed over the years. Insisting on that is a sure way to make your child’s spouse dislike you.
Instead, include your adult children and spouses in all decisions regarding celebrating as a family. Incorporate some of their ideas into your own plans.
Get Rid of the Guilt!
Even with adult kids, you don’t have to give up traditions that matter to you. Recognize that part of the empty next syndrome is letting go of your children as they transition to adulthood. Accept the changes they make as they form new families and create their own traditions. You began as 1 or 2 and you always knew life would return you to where you began, assuming you raised your children to become responsible adults.
Make your own plans for the holidays, if the kids’ ideas don’t work with what you want. Go ahead and take that cruise or visit that quaint little inn. Find a convenient time to get together with the kids and don’t feel guilty.
Don’t Be Afraid to Say No!
As you get older, work may slow down and income may be smaller. You may find it necessary to cut down on holiday expenses. Sit down with your adult children and discuss the changes in your living expenses and tell them what will make the holidays easier for your budget.
Don’t be afraid to say no to ideas you can’t afford.
Think about You!
Don’t let yourself get so caught up in what others want that you forget yourself. What you want, need, or even feel you cannot do is just as important.
Exercise! Keep your normal exercise routine going through the holiday season. Or look for different methods to de-stress, if you prefer. If it’s available, how about skating? Either ice or roller skating provides a strong cardio workout and will help relieve tension.
If shopping is a stress reliever for you, go for it. Call it a two-fer and buy the gifts you plan to give others while you enjoy the shops and lights.
Schedule a spa day for yourself. Close your eyes and allow the professionals to work on you.
Find a Balance during the Holidays!
Eat healthy meals and snacks. Do what you feel is necessary and mix in relaxation methods. Don’t beat yourself up over what you cannot include.
Recognize that there other ways of celebrating the holidays than the way you always did it. It might be time to try new things.
spa day sounds awesome….next year I want lights everywhere!!!!
This is excellent advice. I read it a bit late, but early enough to make a few needed changes that add to a happy holiday without wearing us out. Thanks for the tips!